i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
