i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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