Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
