I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
