Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
