jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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