Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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