Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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