I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
