how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
