I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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