just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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