I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
