# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
