woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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