Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize