Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
