I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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