I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You are the jesus of drinking
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
