You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
