Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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