She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
