Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
