There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
