My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
