Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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