So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
