just tell him i said nine months
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
