Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
