What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
