so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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