He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
