a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
