im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
