You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
