Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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