i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
