Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
