she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
