If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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