how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
