if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
