so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
