We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
