you're like a bully in the Christmas story
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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