Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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