i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
