I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
