Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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