eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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