break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Plan B is the new Plan A
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
