i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
